I adore these moments because I can I allow myself to become optimistic and dream wonderful dreams about my new life and the people I will surround myself with. I'm counting on my ability to find genuine people in a flood of automatons. It has never failed me before, which is why I've always had wonderful, beautiful souls around me.
You guys know who you are. Yes, you too.
There are the exceptions, but even they saw fit to provide me with something concrete before disappearing.
More than anything else this crux I am at has reassured me that I am on the right path to discovering a universal truth. The weird part is that I have realized that there is no right path. Or a path at all.
“Freedom from the desire for an answer is essential to the understanding of a problem.”
"the moment we want to be something we are no longer free."
- J. Krishnamurthi
I have found a teacher, posthumously, in this man. J. Krishnamurthi has reached the enlightenment I strive for. But in understanding his views I have discovered the gaping chasm in my understanding of my own need for enlightenment. In striving for it I venture further from it. In wanting to be enlightened I close my eyes to the manifold paths to reaching it.
Paradoxically, I need to not need. I desire to not have a desire.
I know, I am still trying to twist my mind into the pretzel-esque shape it needs to be in to understand this idea fully.
The secret maybe lies in the pure joy of conversation, cos its only then that I can disconnect myself from the desire to understand and just expand my knowledge without pre-tense or mission.
In a conversation my mind flutters from idea to concept to joke to story, and without realizing it I have discovered something completely new. A concept that is bigger than the sum of its parts.
Zen Buddhism has perfected this kind of profound wordplay.The koan is both a record of past teachings and a catalyst for new, completely original revelations.
The arrow is stopped in flight - zen koan
This parable was the first to capture my interest. It tries to elaborate on a concept about the nature of time and space. That it is relative. That time is only a scale on which things happen and that scale can be as big or small as our lives. The arrow is stopped in flight because the space between the arrow and target doubles as the arrow moves forward. Thus the arrow seems unmoving.
Without judgement I say that people who don't converse freely about everything are missing out. But only if you're a tireless, purposeless malcontent. A rebel without a clue.
And thus ends today's session of shouting into the aether. Thanks for tuning in.